d3mon|ck`s bible

First Impressions ........

2009-02-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

First Impressions, is important. To one person to give it to another person, for a first time, to impress. But that’s what one think, but to the person receiving it may mean another. This is personal subjectiveness with frame of reference. It is so with culture, up bringing, personal experience and religion.

Basically, people judge all the time. With the first date, the job interview, etc. With so many images running though our minds with Ideals, ideology and what not. And so people judge, the way one carry themselves, their table manners, posture, how they speak, and punctuality. To earn the respect of others, one must pass their judgment, if not one will be considered an outcast.

Who throws the first stone? To judge the poor woman, Jesus challenged the people who mobbed lynched her. And who is the poor woman? Who, like her feels the peer pressure of conforming to peer’s judgment of what ever they think she done was wrong?

It’s not just about what has been done, or how it has been done. It’s more of that very first impression that lasts, as the saying goes “The first impression always lasts.” or is it? Change comes with time, time changes people.

The ones who were quick to throw were the ones who left in that parable. Wonder why? Who knows… who knows…

me myself and I

2008-01-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

I get the phrase " I know you " alot .
And people think that they know me, truth is they don't.
What they know about me is usually what i let them to know, even after 5 years my own close friends say " They do not know me. "
Don't blame them, people change with time. My ownself too even if I don't subconciously know it, sometimes i don't even know myself. Even though there are many sides to a person, and what they show might be a mask, all those sides changes with time.
It's hard to catch up.
Me ? i don't show my true me very often, because i its personal.
The different me I show people is to the extent of how much I trust the person and to different people a different me, to a degree all of them is me.
Who I really am, who I show myself as and to whom I am tomorrow
I do not really know.

too early to say anything but when one do is usually too late

2007-02-01T22:29:00.000-08:00

quote from a friend which i created.
this phrase some can consider it a paradox
some can think of it as irony

but it is true as in life there are many times where one is hesitant to speak up about feelings ( especially ). And when they feel that they can come up with the courage, that moment of chance slips past.

then the regret arise from the depths of the grave of the suppression that lead to one doing stupid things that destroy what ever one wanted to save in the first place.

any man can sweep any woman off her feet just need the right broom ( hitch )

2007-02-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

another way of saying there's some one out there for everyone.
depending on a few number of circumstances the relationship may or may not come true.

quiz

2006-08-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

here is a quiz for you to take ;p
http://www03.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=060812100745-872253

need hate to be happy

2006-07-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

ppl always tell me not to be angry and not to hate
to be happy

yes i agree i live to be happy but alot of times and situations evoke from within me the fight to fight for that happiness and fight i will

but in order to win any fight i need hate why ? cause i need to be angry
anger fuels me in my fights and for me to win and to spark anger i need hate

but then again when i don't really care much around me i don't hate cos i don't care
when i care then i will hate

so when i don't care how do i hate ?
this is something i will try to explain some other time

Need for speed Most Wanted (NfsMW) review

2005-11-29T15:40:00.000-08:00

"Cruising down the streets on the prowl for a race in your riced up ride, a blacklisted
racer hooks you up with a race with his friends, and off you go, as the race is nearing
the climax, an eagle eyed cop spots you switching on his siren, he began chase, thinking
to yourself, not this kinda race soon ur goal is to evade the cops reguardless of
winning or not. "

Welcome to the latest Nfs title Need for speed Most Wanted (NfsMW)

You are a blacklist racer who is out for revenge, you rival blacklist number one, a guy called razor set you up causing you to lose your ride and your girl.
you mission is to get his attention, and bring him down and get your girl back.

I would like to think of this game as a combinition of Need for speed Underground2 (NfsU2) with Need for speed Hot Pursuit (NfsHP).

The NfsU2 part

is evident as the racer gets to rice up his ride with visuals, parts and performance upgrades. I am happy that they decided to make it a one stop shop so as not to run everywhere for the different types of shops all over, not that it mattered to me. Some of my friends don't really like this, so they must be happy.
But few of the items were left out, like audio, neons etc. Personally i would have like to see the neons back. It adds the to the blacklist racer look.
Off went the visual rating , which was sad because i was thinking they could improve it like getting a cash / bounty reward for the certain level of impressiveness they achieved.

The NfsHP part

well, the supercharged suvs are a nice but irritatingly addition, u gotta tangle with them to know what i mean. then there is this good guy character that they put in which is a new one for they didn't put any in for HP. He is a rich sarge copper, why ? cause he hunts you down in a Corvette C6, able to keep up with you and keep you in sight,
and he always hunts in trios and his fav tactics is to box you in. geez.
The chopper is back too, this time it doesnt have its dropping barrel attack. phew.

The selection of cars that were brought over from U2 are mostly asian types. Like the Mazda, Mitsubishi, Toyota. From HP are the continetal powerhouses, Lambo, Porshe, even the Merc Maclaren SLK can be chosen.
There are unique cars to unlock too, like the BMW M3 GTR, and the Corvette C6.R.

One gripe of mine is that the game didn't have the GTR Nissan Skyline, and the 350Z, and the Toyota Sprinter Trueno aka AE86, these are very cool cars that U2 featured.

One of the unique and new additions are after you defeat a blacklist rival you get to choose 2 special markers from the person. Apart from choosing the three usual (visual,parts,performance) upgrades. you get to choose unknown bonus markers.
Now, i would encourage every one who read this to gamble on the unknown markers, you get intresting options like keep ur rival's ride after you defeat that person among a few others not to mention, and to spoil this aspect of the unknown.

One new race type that is featured is the challenge series, this is a set of races that you have to unlock during your career mode, to be able to play it.

All else said I would give this game a 8/10.
and I m looking forward to NfsMW black edition.

Unforgiving servant

2005-09-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

Even among the closest of friends, sometimes we hurt each other. In this Parable Peter asks Jesus what to do when u get hurt by someone.

Do you completely forgive like the master or are u like the servant who woldn't forgive?

I wouldn't seriously care about what those whom I don't care about do whatever not.
I don't like to carry imotional baggage cos I already have myself to contend with.
So theres nothing to forgive.

When I don't love you , definatly I don't hate you cos I don't know you so I don't care about you. so there's nothing to forgive.
And when you are someone I love , If I hate you I'll completely forgive you thou you hurt me. Cos basically i care, no matter how big or small, i`ll overlook it.

Well, God can forgive time and time again. And giving up his son so that we are once and for all forgiven. So y cant I ?

Its hard forgiving someone whom you love and care about hurting you. I didn't say it wasn't. Sure that it will take time. I will forgive eventually. Depends on how hurt I am, it will take time.

a touch of the holy spirit

2005-08-20T00:54:00.000-07:00

i do understand sy rogers with what he said abt understanding god
and how he put it thru like a kid asking so many questions about how to go about living asking how to do it to a parent....

to experince him ... its a whole lot more than acts of miracles and of other ppls testimonies all these are just a waddle at the beach of a big ocean...

you can go in and waddle and tell that any where else its the same wet and salty...
even at the bottom of the deep sea...

but whats there ... no one knows...
how anything can servive the deep presure too its of questions...
to know GOD there is endless questions ...
and ans to these questions are questions by themselves and the questions keep on opening up more questions ...

and of understanding the level of his understanding
abt feeling responsible till claiming the ultimate responsiblity for his creation that he sacrificed his son for that reason how screwed up his creation by giving a little of himself into his cration ...

a will to choose ... he choose to give his creation the will of choice
sadded by how it turned out...

so to reconcile with his creation his son was sacrificed...

to know him is one thing but to understand him is a total different realm together
for me is not so much as to understand how he does the thing he does ...
but to understand y he does the things he does...

and what i haf know being a christian all my life ...
to understand anything u got to believe ... not question ...
and for u to believe .... u have got to have FAITH....

the bottom line is
TO UNDERSTAND IS TO BELIEVE AAND TO HAVE FAITH IN YOUR BELIEVE

and
WITH FREEDOM OF CHOICE COMES RESPONSIBILITY

so sy rogers was really in frequency with me ....
what he said is how i would put it about a little of GOD...

what is Faith

2005-08-05T00:16:00.000-07:00

do u believe in God ?
what is Faith...

been a baptised catholic, not really sceptic about not understanding.
cause I feel that trying to understand defeats the need for faith...
and yet i feel that it contradicts it self.

is it how u go about living the way ?

i m trying very hard like my other entries... that i have posted...
trying to believe , i need faith to get back faith .... and to believe in believing...

i cant find the peace and serenity that I have.
no where...

Faith to believe in what i have... and in God...
but how... ?

I m under strain which no ones understands...
I keep to myself... I listen but rarely speak
I suffer in silence... I keep everything in me bottled up...

I dont know who to confide in...
I wonder if I have a girl what would our relationship be...
what kind of faith...

when i m reaching breaking point?
when do i get so down that i go into full blown depression ?

Faith ... the word seem so distant...
believe... in God ? He will make a way....
try ... to believe... to have faith...
faith in God

what is Faith...?

conformity to social norms

2005-07-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

hard to find a not so material girl here in sg. most of my frens attached or not claims to b materialistic arrghh its like a social norm nowadays ....

so even thou they love money and not the guy who is spending it on them do they value it ? the effort ? or just like it when they get what they wants... ??

sounds lame rite ? i hate to waste resources on a futile relationship ... esp when the girl loves money and not the guy who is dishing it out when he haf better things to do with it ...
out of selfless sacrifice to the whims and fancies does he painstakingly pamper and spoil her disrupting the natural flow of things to come in a sort of retarded and twisted way

why then still does he go and still stick with her ? its the same everywhere i look ... on this place if not this planet ....

this is just like adding fuel to the fire ... to the rest of problems that is to come if only this wernt the case things will get soo much better... but untill the true value of greens is realised it will become the root of all evil ...

perceptions within expectations

2005-06-27T01:10:00.000-07:00

kind of contraditary
y change the person when in the 1st place u like who she is ?
alot of breakups happen when the above mentioned question happens

time constantly changes everything esp myself i feel that its true

another thing
if i had a kid how would i bring him/her up ? esp if i have a daughter ?
let her b ? to toughen her up ? what if she gets into all sorts of troubles like rape or punks ... how would i instill in her the values that i was brought up with to her in her terms with her method of absorbing it ...

one of my rules is " with freedom comes responsibilty "

its hard to find a harmony with these 2 for a relationship ...
and for my own kid/s too .....

y m i thinking of these ... when i dont even have any gfs to begin with ?
nor do i have any ever ... cos percepting expectations kills relationships...

Initial-D

2005-06-25T01:55:00.000-07:00

caught it today ......
not as expected as with the anime ...
alan and pal crammed alot of the anime into the 2 hours ... so story feels abit rushed ...

the cars of the movie dont know y they left out keisuke with his yellow RX-7

some spoilers .....
1st race starts off with Nakazato ( Shawn Yue) racing with Takumi ( Jay Chow)
so raftly ID fans would know how the movie is paced ...
one of the highlights is the 3 way battle Takumi ( Jay ) , Ryusouke ( Edison Chen) and Soudoh ( Jordan Chan)
funny crashes not expected twists along the way

expect funny antics from Bunta ( Anthony Wong)who always falls asleep and continues to fall asleep even thou his son Takumi ( Jay ) mis handles him and drops him off the whole flight of stairs .... how he manages to keep his eyes close for most of the movie amazes me ... with out getting cramps on the eyelids...
Filmed entirely in Japan, Mount Haruna stands in for the fictional Mount Akina whereby the numerous “drifting” and hair-raising race sequences are shot.

alot of HK dry humour by the Directors ....
another funny character is itsuki takumi`s best friend ( Chapman To)
Listen to his theory about men and god and get a good laugh out of it.

whats with teen sch girls ...?

2005-06-24T01:15:00.000-07:00

this is another one of those no directional post... which is y i m writing any way ...

alot of hype with the media on online chatting associated with sch girls ... teen girls...
and thats connected to 20 plus guys chatting n hooking up with them ...
weird aint it ?? to them its news...

i have friends which are still in sec sch ....girls ... outside friends ... church friends friends of friends.... sometimes its only me n her ... i dont feel like what the newpaper put it ...
sometimes i pull her along with my normal friends outings and stuff
she doesn`t feel like she is the youngest thou ...

they come with all these problems... mostly self created other than family related
and its not like I dont have my own ... sheesh ....
so and y m i still single alot of my friends ask ... what to say ... i just "sigh"....
y not go find one ?.... "sigh"... y bother ? its up to the big guy up there ...

any one wanna date ?? haha .... like in digital life some put up advertisments for dates ...
got hitched ? dunno ..... dont ask me ... maybe i shud put one up here .... ? who knows...
when i can think of a nice program ..... which involes a shitload of money ....
and i dont think i can afford.....
nah ... it would b a decent affordable one ...... any ideas ?

my shepherd ....

2005-06-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

my german shepherd just matted
dont know how big her litter is gonna be ...

show dog 2x siegerin ....

any one intrested in her pups?

sentiments

2005-06-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

feel the same today fathers day ....
watched a movie with my parents .....
mr & mrs smith...

feels like a copy frm a good old chinese assasin novel

impressions

2005-06-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

what is the real me ... i ever wonder ..... the true me ? or
what people perceive of me ? or what i choose to let people perceive ?
none of them ? hmm .....

half of the true me and half of what i choose to let people perceive ....
and how people see me its up to them ......
do not think that i m out to deceive i m still searching of myself .....
but i wud feel more comfortable with the company of my gal pals....

i dont really go out with my guy pals unless its a pools / gaming / Inital-D session
not much to express there .... except the skills of the game.....

on the other hand with my gal pals ... its different not so much of the ego mancho thingy going on ... but on a more chummy side ...... able to share more talk more ....
some of them listens and i really appriciate it .... they know who they are ....

the 1st impression that most would get is that i dont look my age i look younger ...
well thats good ...
and that i m humourous , easy going etc ...

thats what they perceive well thats part of my true self too .....
how ever not always i m like that ... some times a few of my friends would tell me that they liked the old me
when i m really down out and lost i would would show a different side of me .....
a full 180 degrees

whats wrong with me ........ ? i really dont know

2005-06-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

i just feel ..... no words can discribe it ......

need to vent fustrations ......... thats what my hobbies toys etc
Initial-D too ...
dont know how can i keep it in me for long ....

cudnt enjoy what i really like to do .......
besides dont have the company .....

void and empty ...... thats y ........ one of the reasons ? ...
lots of little ones that add fuel too .....

Blade of the D3monIck spirit

2005-06-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

its just a nice piece i picked up along with others

its frm the jet li movie HERO

VOID

2005-06-06T01:03:00.000-07:00

whats it like to be " lost in space " un-feeling
void of all senses

blank

uncertainty no direction feeling wierd empty
joyful or sumthing else ..... nah not happy
y should i be ?

depressed ? maybe i dunno ... u tell me .....
alot of things just bottled up dunno where to vent

i use gaming as an outlet going arcade too i win or lose actually doesnt matter ....
so what if i m gd at certain games ? it wont help me resolve my problems
alot of ppl think that i m happy n fortunate ? what abt ?
i dont feel any different frm any of them ......

regular kid ... just abit better off than some of them
my neighbours ..... nothing different abt them too .....
its just that y m i here ? what do i have to do ? when i DIE ..... is my life a resume for when i DIE and go sum where to bring with me to tell any one up there what i ever did ?

not too sure ...

but NOW ....
VOID
a vast empty space...

alone ... feel alone ... deep inside
where is my real me ? i dont i feel like who i am anymore ........
WHO AM I ?????????
y m i writing this ? i really dunno .......
and for what ? .... i dunno too ....

With Money everything is possible

2005-06-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

but without money dont even think of smelling a wet cunt

thats the understatement isnt it ?
thats life......

money is the root of all evil ?

i think they are both .... people gets to mischief when they are low on cash.
money wields much fear and hate, esp if with to girls...

generally girls need a fair bit of money to be maintained ...... esp if the relationship is based on sex

Dying u destroyed our death Rising u restored our life

2005-05-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

whats death to u ? ever thought of whats life ?

death is the start of life its when u truely live .... this ? this is just a transition into life .
this is the mortal purgatory in these shells living these daunting lives

subjected to problems and more problems plus social conformations
death will b so relieving no need to think abt what to wear no need money ......
no responsiblity

mabe i`ll b in an angels armour wielding holy knightswords fighting demons ....
meb i`ll just b another nobody in heaven who knows .....

now here i know i haf to work
keep the peace
look afta family and if i have a gf her too
responsibilities sigh thats the way life goes and for ? when we die who takes over ?

ever wondered y do ppl still need to cling on to those who haf passed away ..... ?
those who passed away are just but a memory
i just wonder if i die who will i see ? saint peter ? jesus ? judas ?
will i b in heaven ? or purgatory ? or hell ? or in the realm of the living , earth ?

i have a religion i m not a freethinker yet i dont think like every one else
y be scared of death ? as jesus did by dying giving us eternal life ?
Dying u destroyed our death Rising u restored our life
this verse comes to me very strongly

Love... what is Love ?

2005-05-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

love is for a reason .... is it not ? then what is the reason for love ?
y do people declare love but yet not mean it .....
y do people get all blinded over some one who has profess love and yet not see the truth ?

love is truthful
love is patient
love is kind
love is caring
love is sincere

is what love is all about ?
thats what every one say ...

but i have not seen it yet
all i have seen is the lust n deception
esp where love is bought buy money and lust

these people are blinded by the truth
and the people who decieve is not in love but lust

commitment and relationship

2005-05-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

these 2 goes together ? seems that way no matter what kind of relationship there is a certain level of commitment to it be it bgr or just frens ...

it seems that with other factors to add like the person character etc will influence how much commitment will b to the relationship therefore affecting the relationship

but the character of the person cant b changed if its changed then he will not b the same person
even if u dispise the person`s character

it seems like a victious cycle to be caught in esp for bgr to love the person as one is and then realising some bad habits that the person dont like with the partner and so shud want to change therefore leading to this victious cycle of contemp